Shut the Fuck Up About Fireworks, Karen!

Shut the Fuck Up About Fireworks, Karen!

Seriously! Being an “animal empath” doesn’t give you the right to literally tell America how to behave on July 4th. Okay. It’s obvious that I’m annoyed. I detest scrolling through my newsfeed when it’s exploding with this sermon of sniveling sanctimony: It’s like some...
After a Breakup, Who Should Reach out to Whom?

After a Breakup, Who Should Reach out to Whom?

Q: “After a breakup, who should be the first to reach out? The dumper? Or the dumpee?” A: Neither, because reaching out to your ex is a stupid idea! Look, people break up for a variety of reasons. Some of those include incompatibility, infidelity, and...
What Would an Ex Have to Do to Get You Back?

What Would an Ex Have to Do to Get You Back?

Nothing. There is absolutely nothing any of my exes could do to get me back. First of all, I’m happily married. So, that right there is the most important reason why none of my exes could ever get me back. Why would I want to divorce my wife to give a second (or...
Band Drama: The Bass Player’s Wife

Band Drama: The Bass Player’s Wife

As a local musician, the only thing worse than dealing with other musicians is putting up with the wives and girlfriends. They tend to run the gamut from occasional nuisance to meddlesome harpy. They’re at their worst when their husband/boyfriend is in your band, of...